I've been celebrating Holy Humour Sunday all of this week (not that I'm loathe to tell a joke any time :p), and I've got a few jokes for y'all:
In a small Texas town, a bar began construction on a new building to increase their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At the hearing he commented, “I don't know how I’m going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not.”
And another:
Q: How many church members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change? Change??? My grandmother paid for that light bulb!
And lastly:
A minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?”
One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”
Sometimes "jokes" can hurt. Sometimes they're intended to hurt. But a lot of times, a joke can help us examine a side of ourselves that would be too painful or divisive to approach any other way.
Like change within the church. Or how and why we pray. Or what really is a sin. These topics can be too heated to discuss openly, but a joke can gently nudge us to start thinking on our own, gradually freeing us to openly and intelligently discuss topics that were once taboo.
And so I leave you, dear readers, with questions raised by these jokes.
How do you feel about the changes our moder world has wrougt in our religious institutions? How and why do you pray? What do you pray for? And do you really believe God will answer you? What is sin? What is the difference (if any) between a lie and a tall tale? When is it okay to lie? (And if you've never had children, think carefully before you answer, "Never!") (If you have raised children, you'll know that, "Never!" is not the right answer, if you answer the question honestly...)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
A Weekend to Be Thankful
I just came back from supper with my parents at Swiss Chalet. It's not a common occurrence any more--Mom and Dad live a good three to four hour drive from where I live now, and I don't see them all that oten.
At dinner, we got talking about how a few of my close friends are going through some very difficult times, and how they don't have, and never had, any significant parental support. I hugged my mom (who was the one sitting next to me), and said to both my parents, "I'm so grateful you're my parents. You may not have done everything right, but you tried your best and you love me."
My heart swelled at that moment. I'm grateful that at fifty years of age, I still have two parents who are still married to one another. I'm especially grateful because I really wasn't expecting to be in this position at this point in my life. Both my grandfathers were dead by the time I reached sixteen, and by the time I was twenty-three, my parents were the elder generation in the family. My kids, by contrast, are twenty, twenty-two and twenty-five, and they still have three grandparents!
Dad, being Dad, used to predict his death. "I've only got twenty years left, tops. Ten years, five years..." He stopped that nonsense a few years back, when he'd outlived even his most generous predicitons. In September, God willing, he's going to be eighty, and even my optimistic self didn't expect a former smoker with high blood pressure and a history of heart disease (he's had a quadruple bypass) to live that long.
Mom, at seventy-five, is beginning to slow down. That means she's no longer chair of fifteen million committees at church and at presbytery. Instead, she's cut it down to one or two. Plus UCW. Plus choir...
I don't know how I got to be this lucky, and I don't know how long it's going to continue. Mom almost died a year and a half ago when her liver got infected, and Dad's mental condition is slowly but obviously heading downhill.
There will come a time, maybe sooner, maybe later, when I will have to face the rest of my life without parents. But this weekend, I have them both with me in the same city. Tomorrow morning, we're going to the market. Tomorrow evening (probably after a good long afternoon nap), we're going out for dinner. I'm going to enjoy my time with them, and make sure they know that they're loved and appreciated too.
At dinner, we got talking about how a few of my close friends are going through some very difficult times, and how they don't have, and never had, any significant parental support. I hugged my mom (who was the one sitting next to me), and said to both my parents, "I'm so grateful you're my parents. You may not have done everything right, but you tried your best and you love me."
My heart swelled at that moment. I'm grateful that at fifty years of age, I still have two parents who are still married to one another. I'm especially grateful because I really wasn't expecting to be in this position at this point in my life. Both my grandfathers were dead by the time I reached sixteen, and by the time I was twenty-three, my parents were the elder generation in the family. My kids, by contrast, are twenty, twenty-two and twenty-five, and they still have three grandparents!
Dad, being Dad, used to predict his death. "I've only got twenty years left, tops. Ten years, five years..." He stopped that nonsense a few years back, when he'd outlived even his most generous predicitons. In September, God willing, he's going to be eighty, and even my optimistic self didn't expect a former smoker with high blood pressure and a history of heart disease (he's had a quadruple bypass) to live that long.
Mom, at seventy-five, is beginning to slow down. That means she's no longer chair of fifteen million committees at church and at presbytery. Instead, she's cut it down to one or two. Plus UCW. Plus choir...
I don't know how I got to be this lucky, and I don't know how long it's going to continue. Mom almost died a year and a half ago when her liver got infected, and Dad's mental condition is slowly but obviously heading downhill.
There will come a time, maybe sooner, maybe later, when I will have to face the rest of my life without parents. But this weekend, I have them both with me in the same city. Tomorrow morning, we're going to the market. Tomorrow evening (probably after a good long afternoon nap), we're going out for dinner. I'm going to enjoy my time with them, and make sure they know that they're loved and appreciated too.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Books I Almost Read
I figured I'd give you an update on my reading list. I've been sort of skip reading two books this week, which is how I read when what I'm reading either doesn't grab me, or grabs me a bit too hard. The books evened out to one in each category this time around:
Catcher in the Rye is one of those books that's on every list of "must reads" that I've ever seen, so I thought I'd put it on my list for "school." But nobody told me it was about a self-centered adolescent boy who thinks he knows everything to begin with and in consequence learns very little in the course of the story. It's self-indulgent crap, or at least it would be if written as an autobiography. At least the parts I've managed to force myself to read are like that, and it sure doesn't make me want to read more. I loathe adolescent angst and self-indulgence. When my kids were that age, I told them after the first episode to cut it and skip to age 20. It didn't really work, but since my kids were pretty level-headed and outward focussed to begin with, I didn't have too much of the crap to deal with.
If I'm reluctant to live through it with my own children, whom I love, I'm not going to suffer through the angst of a fictional kid whose attitude makes me dislike him within the first paragraph. So strike that one off my list. I've got better things to do with my time, like pick lint out of my navel.
(ETA: I found this abridged version on-line a few hours after I posted. Would have saved me a couple of hours of trying to slog through the book if I'd found it last week...)
2) My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult, is an example of a book that grabs me too much for me to read front to back in one sitting. Anna is a thirteen-year-old girl who is also going through adolescent angst, but I find it easier to sympathize with a character whose angst is caused by the fact that loved or not, she's basically an object to her parents, a who was conceived solely to be a blood and marrow donor for her older sister, who has leukemia.
I've actually read, in a number of short sessions, most of the novel. And it's raised some interesting questions for me to consider. Is what Anna's parents did moral or right? Without a matching donor, their eldest daughter would have died. But a healthy child was made to undergo medical "treatment" without her consent in order to save her sister's life. Should authorities have stepped in on Anna's behalf earlier than they did? Would doctors really condone such a thing? And at what age is a child able to give informed consent? Because in the end, it's the older sister who tells Anna not to donate, indicating that the rights of both children may have been violated.
Hefty questions, and a tear-jerker of a book.
Catcher in the Rye is one of those books that's on every list of "must reads" that I've ever seen, so I thought I'd put it on my list for "school." But nobody told me it was about a self-centered adolescent boy who thinks he knows everything to begin with and in consequence learns very little in the course of the story. It's self-indulgent crap, or at least it would be if written as an autobiography. At least the parts I've managed to force myself to read are like that, and it sure doesn't make me want to read more. I loathe adolescent angst and self-indulgence. When my kids were that age, I told them after the first episode to cut it and skip to age 20. It didn't really work, but since my kids were pretty level-headed and outward focussed to begin with, I didn't have too much of the crap to deal with.
If I'm reluctant to live through it with my own children, whom I love, I'm not going to suffer through the angst of a fictional kid whose attitude makes me dislike him within the first paragraph. So strike that one off my list. I've got better things to do with my time, like pick lint out of my navel.
(ETA: I found this abridged version on-line a few hours after I posted. Would have saved me a couple of hours of trying to slog through the book if I'd found it last week...)
2) My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult, is an example of a book that grabs me too much for me to read front to back in one sitting. Anna is a thirteen-year-old girl who is also going through adolescent angst, but I find it easier to sympathize with a character whose angst is caused by the fact that loved or not, she's basically an object to her parents, a who was conceived solely to be a blood and marrow donor for her older sister, who has leukemia.
I've actually read, in a number of short sessions, most of the novel. And it's raised some interesting questions for me to consider. Is what Anna's parents did moral or right? Without a matching donor, their eldest daughter would have died. But a healthy child was made to undergo medical "treatment" without her consent in order to save her sister's life. Should authorities have stepped in on Anna's behalf earlier than they did? Would doctors really condone such a thing? And at what age is a child able to give informed consent? Because in the end, it's the older sister who tells Anna not to donate, indicating that the rights of both children may have been violated.
Hefty questions, and a tear-jerker of a book.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
It's Working!
Even in just four days, writing every day is working, both for me and my blog. I'm starting to think ahead about future posts and the direction(s) I might like this blog to take. I've also increased my modest readership, according to my stats page. Not that 13 page views a day is great or anything, but it's double what it was last week.
Today is a theme day down at the blogathon, and the theme is "My Five Favourite Writing Books." Hard, hard, hard. I have a couple of dozen books on my shelf about writing, not counting the ones on writing sermons, and they all have their good points. I also found myself wishing that the topic had been widened to include favourite writing sites online, or other resources. But then this post would be a few thousand words long, instead of a few hundred.
So, here's my list, at least for today:
1) I'd be remiss if I didn't include at least one book by Jenna Glatzer on my list. Jenna's been a friend, cheerleader and inspiration to me for the past six years. If I succeed as a writer, it will be her fault.
I chose Outwitting Writers' Block because I'm a sucker for exercises that jog me out of my usual ways of thinking, and have me look at problems from different angles.
2) Speaking of looking at things from different angles, Ariel Gore's book How to Become a Famouse Writer Before You're Dead does just that. For those of us with a wide streak of individualism, this book is a treasure. I do hope that Ariel updates sometime soon, though, because despite a copyright date of 2007, it has very little about using the internet in the book, and that avenue for publishing has exploded since then.
3) I'm a fantasy writer when I'm not writing non-fiction of various sorts, and my favourite resource by far is The Rivan Codex by David and Leigh Eddings. It's not a book about writing fantasy per se. What it does is give you all the background texts that David and Leigh wrote for their Belgariad series. It's like watching a real painter paint instead of reading a book about technique. It's both unique and valuable because of that. Even Tolkien's background books (as good as they are) aren't quite as valuable to me as The Rivan Codex, because throughout the book Eddings makes comments about how things changed in the final writing and why.
4) If Jenna was the kick that got me writing again after years of absinence, Chris Baty and Nanowrimo are the kick that got me to actually complete a second novel a couple of years back. No Plot? No Problem! is a great book for getting you out of the swamp that keeps you from putting words on the page (or screen) and back into the habit of writing daily.
5)Finally, as proof that editors aren't infallable, and that their judgements are only human, this book or one like it should be on every writer's reading list:
It will give you the courage you need to keep writing when the world seems to be telling you that your work isn't good enough and you should stop and do something easier, like build rockets.
Today is a theme day down at the blogathon, and the theme is "My Five Favourite Writing Books." Hard, hard, hard. I have a couple of dozen books on my shelf about writing, not counting the ones on writing sermons, and they all have their good points. I also found myself wishing that the topic had been widened to include favourite writing sites online, or other resources. But then this post would be a few thousand words long, instead of a few hundred.
So, here's my list, at least for today:
1) I'd be remiss if I didn't include at least one book by Jenna Glatzer on my list. Jenna's been a friend, cheerleader and inspiration to me for the past six years. If I succeed as a writer, it will be her fault.
I chose Outwitting Writers' Block because I'm a sucker for exercises that jog me out of my usual ways of thinking, and have me look at problems from different angles.
2) Speaking of looking at things from different angles, Ariel Gore's book How to Become a Famouse Writer Before You're Dead does just that. For those of us with a wide streak of individualism, this book is a treasure. I do hope that Ariel updates sometime soon, though, because despite a copyright date of 2007, it has very little about using the internet in the book, and that avenue for publishing has exploded since then.
3) I'm a fantasy writer when I'm not writing non-fiction of various sorts, and my favourite resource by far is The Rivan Codex by David and Leigh Eddings. It's not a book about writing fantasy per se. What it does is give you all the background texts that David and Leigh wrote for their Belgariad series. It's like watching a real painter paint instead of reading a book about technique. It's both unique and valuable because of that. Even Tolkien's background books (as good as they are) aren't quite as valuable to me as The Rivan Codex, because throughout the book Eddings makes comments about how things changed in the final writing and why.
4) If Jenna was the kick that got me writing again after years of absinence, Chris Baty and Nanowrimo are the kick that got me to actually complete a second novel a couple of years back. No Plot? No Problem! is a great book for getting you out of the swamp that keeps you from putting words on the page (or screen) and back into the habit of writing daily.
5)Finally, as proof that editors aren't infallable, and that their judgements are only human, this book or one like it should be on every writer's reading list:
It will give you the courage you need to keep writing when the world seems to be telling you that your work isn't good enough and you should stop and do something easier, like build rockets.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
It's Time For A Change
I went. I did my duty and voted. And the candidate I voted for did not get elected, and that's okay by me. Because I know that within my riding, each person got one vote, and each of those one votes was equal to every other vote cast.
But it was apparent this morning that the ratio of one person to one vote does not hold across the country. Because sixty percent of the Canadians who cast votes yesterday voted AGAINST the Conservatives. Yet they won a majority.
Some votes, it would seem, are more equal than others. And that's just not fair, or democratic, or Canadian. We need to re-think our system of electing representatives so that it's more truly representative.
I doubt Mr. Harper will read this, but just in case he does:
Sir, you may have a majority of the seats in the House of Commons, but you are not the choice of the majority of Canadians. Please keep that in mind when you're creating policy. You DO NOT have a mandate to steamroll ultra-Conservative policies through parliament.
I don't think Elizabeth May will read this either, but just in case she does:
Congratulations! And please, over the next four years, work on a policy that includes more than just environmental issues. I'd like to see the Green Party become a truly full-fledged political party.
And to the survivors in the Liberal Party:
WE WANT JUSTIN! WE WANT JUSTIN!
(And for those Americans who don't know who I'm asking for, and to those Canadians who were hidden in a barrel during the sixties and seventies (or not born yet), I'm not talking about our girl from Stratford...)
But it was apparent this morning that the ratio of one person to one vote does not hold across the country. Because sixty percent of the Canadians who cast votes yesterday voted AGAINST the Conservatives. Yet they won a majority.
Some votes, it would seem, are more equal than others. And that's just not fair, or democratic, or Canadian. We need to re-think our system of electing representatives so that it's more truly representative.
I doubt Mr. Harper will read this, but just in case he does:
Sir, you may have a majority of the seats in the House of Commons, but you are not the choice of the majority of Canadians. Please keep that in mind when you're creating policy. You DO NOT have a mandate to steamroll ultra-Conservative policies through parliament.
I don't think Elizabeth May will read this either, but just in case she does:
Congratulations! And please, over the next four years, work on a policy that includes more than just environmental issues. I'd like to see the Green Party become a truly full-fledged political party.
And to the survivors in the Liberal Party:
WE WANT JUSTIN! WE WANT JUSTIN!
(And for those Americans who don't know who I'm asking for, and to those Canadians who were hidden in a barrel during the sixties and seventies (or not born yet), I'm not talking about our girl from Stratford...)
Monday, May 2, 2011
The One Thing You Shouldn't Forget
My son and his boyfriend moved into their first very own apartment yesterday. They had the mattress for the bed stored at my place for a number of months, along with various and sundry other essentials like the dishes, kitchen utinsils, table and chairs, lamps, and so forth.
Wednesday, we boogied on down to the end-of-the-month half-price sale at the Re-Store, and they bought a couch and armchair.
Saturday, they went to Ikea and bought the bed frame.
They thought they were ready to move in.
They did move in.
Today, they had to go shopping again, early in the day. Because they forgot something.
You see, you can survive in a new apartment without a bed or blankets, as long as you have a floor. You can live without food in the fridge or dishes in the cupboard--that's what Pizza Pizza is for. You can even (if you're male at least) survive for a few days with no clean clothes and no soap.
But don't, don't, don't forget the toilet paper!
Wednesday, we boogied on down to the end-of-the-month half-price sale at the Re-Store, and they bought a couch and armchair.
Saturday, they went to Ikea and bought the bed frame.
They thought they were ready to move in.
They did move in.
Today, they had to go shopping again, early in the day. Because they forgot something.
You see, you can survive in a new apartment without a bed or blankets, as long as you have a floor. You can live without food in the fridge or dishes in the cupboard--that's what Pizza Pizza is for. You can even (if you're male at least) survive for a few days with no clean clothes and no soap.
But don't, don't, don't forget the toilet paper!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The One Word Post
Ha! Gotcha!
Not really a one word post, but really short and to the point. And in the end, if you only read the very last word of the post, you'll have gotten the point.
First off (and this is not the point of this post, merely information), I've joined a challenge from this blog to write one blog post per day for the month of May. My main purpose in joining the challenge is to get into the habit of writing every day, instead of defaulting automatically to Sims 3 or Sims Medieval when I get on the computer. I'd also, of course, like to attract more traffic and followers, but I figure I can only do that if I have quality posts up. Which means I have to write every day.
Anyhow, the main point of this post is this:
Democracy only works if everyone participates.
If you're Canadian, then get out of the house tomorrow and...
VOTE!!!
And that's the word for today.
Not really a one word post, but really short and to the point. And in the end, if you only read the very last word of the post, you'll have gotten the point.
First off (and this is not the point of this post, merely information), I've joined a challenge from this blog to write one blog post per day for the month of May. My main purpose in joining the challenge is to get into the habit of writing every day, instead of defaulting automatically to Sims 3 or Sims Medieval when I get on the computer. I'd also, of course, like to attract more traffic and followers, but I figure I can only do that if I have quality posts up. Which means I have to write every day.
Anyhow, the main point of this post is this:
Democracy only works if everyone participates.
If you're Canadian, then get out of the house tomorrow and...
VOTE!!!
And that's the word for today.
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